Drabbles
by DelilahBlueEyes
Summary: Just a series of drabbles that feature Severus and Hermione. Will add more when I think of them.
1. Go Bugger Who Now?

"Go bugger yourself."

Severus squinted at the mirror hanging over the bar, hoping to catch a glimpse of the person who seemed to be swearing in his general direction. Through the haze of stale, cigarette-smoke filled air and the layer of fat burning lamp residue he could only get a vague impression of a strange furry hat, set snugly atop the head of what appeared to be an alarmingly swaying person standing behind his right shoulder. Damn. He'd been having a perfectly pleasant evening getting drunk at the end of a difficult year and an even more difficult war. Both of his spymasters were finally dead, and he was free. He'd come to this obscure bar in Hogsmeade hoping to avoid anyone who might recognize him. Obviously that hope had been for naught. With a sigh he turned precariously on his bar stool to confront the possible enemy, only to find himself faced with an ex-student.

"Miss Granger?" What he before had thought to be a furry hat was actually Hermione's unkempt hair, curls twisting and whirling about her face. From the redness of her face and the way she was tilting and leaning like a person on a ship at sea made it quite clear that she was on her way to getting gloriously drunk. Her outfit was a far cry from her school uniform, baring an indecent amount of skin, (the skirt was much too short to be much more than a scrap of spare fabric) an infraction that he still itched to deduct points for. Yet the way that her clingy silk top revealed shifting glances of deliciously flushed skin made him want to hook a finger into her neckline and tug her close enough to…. He blinked guiltily back up into Hermione's face where she was attempting to uncross her eyes enough to tell if he was actually staring at her cleavage. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"I said, go. Bugger. Yourself," she repeated, a very smug look on her face as she crossed her arms, unconsciously pushing her bosoms to greater advantage and easier observation. She seemed to think she'd made a very clever comment, but he was too distracted by all of the terribly tempting urges flying through his mind to really care. He wanted to tell her exactly how her skimpy outfit was affecting him, throw her over his shoulder and carry her away to thoroughly exhaust her in as many ways and times as possible. And he had just enough alcohol burning pleasantly through his bloodstream to consider doing just that.

"Well, I could do that. It would certainly not be an unfamiliar activity for me, but I must confess that I am rather tired of handling that particular need myself." He tossed back a shot, thumbed out a few bills and stood, stepping closer. "Would you care to join me instead?"

He was rewarded with the perfect view of her face going slack in confusion a moment before it changed to righteously indignant shock.

"Excu-use me? How dare you insin- insinunate that I would do such a thing?" Her word was broken by a nervous hiccup and he lifted his hand to rest against her jaw, thumb making restless circles across her cheek.

"It was just an invitation, sweetheart. You can take it or leave it. I was simply letting you know that the option is there." Silence was his only answer for so long that he sighed and stepped back, turning to leave before things got ugly. At least he'd tried. But she had turned with him and summoned her purse from where it lay on her empty table across the pub, knocking a person or two in the head before it made it to her hand.

"Fine. But you won't tell anyone about this and try not to enjoy it too much because it probably will not be a performance that gets repeated."

And with that she pushed open the door and strode away, marginally unsteady on her high heels over the cobblestones. Snape simply stood still, for a moment afraid that he'd had more than he thought and was hallucinating. But then she turned around and made an impatient gesture and he hurried to comply, not hesitating to offer an arm when it seemed that she might fall without it. As they crossed the darkened city arm in arm, a smile spread across his face. _Go bugger who now?_


	2. Favorite Form of Fighting

"…might as well have just jumped into his lap, Hermione! He didn't seem at all opposed to the idea to the idea. I daresay he expected it, as did everyone else in the room."

"Severus, you're overreacting. I haven't seen the man in seven years. Excuse me for thinking I was allowed to catch up with an old friend!"

The bedroom door of the previously silent house flew open, revealing a couple in the middle of a full blown argument. The man was tall, with black hair and pale skin, scowling stormily as he dropped his shoes and began to unbutton his cloak. The woman who followed him was removing her pearl earrings, which she threw at her dresser as she stalked by on her way to the bathroom.

"Oh, Tadley," he mimicked her voice, viciously tearing the last few buttons off of his robe when it didn't seem quick enough to remove it manually. "Remember that time our friends locked us in a closet when we wouldn't admit we were dating, and we spent the afternoon playing boggle? Or the time we went swimming and you lent me your shirt when my towel fell in the water? And aren't all of our childhood memories are _so bloody_ adorable they make me want to vomit!" By this time he was shouting, no longer imitating her voice. Hermione appeared in the doorway, tugging at the zipper of her shimmery black dress until it fell away from her shoulders, pooling around her feet.

"Jealous, sweetie?" She asked, snatching her dress up and draping it over the hanger on the doorknob. When she stepped back into the bedroom he was standing in the middle of the room, unbuttoning his shirt cuffs and giving her his best cool teacher glare.

"Should I be?" he asked calmly, his tone belying the anger still shining in his eyes.

"No," she scoffed as she stepped back toward her dresser leaning against it as she began to shimmy out of her tights. "No, you shouldn't be. He's married, as you may recall—."

"So are you!" Pulling his shirt away from his body with a jerk.

"Exactly! I'm married to you! Do you really think I would ever cheat. On. You," She jumped up and down as she spoke, flailed for balance and tugged the tights off her feet, panting. "Especially with six other people sitting in the room?"

He didn't answer immediately so she turned and rescued her earrings from where the cat was batting them in circles, setting them safely on her bureau as the bedsprings creaked behind her. One sock, followed closely by its fellow sailed past her, landing perfectly in the open laundry bin.

"How should I know what sort of strange exhibitionist fantasies you harbor? You've only allowed me into your mind thrice." Severus Snape had said many stupid things in his life, but this was one of the few he wished he could take back, just suck the words back inside and swallow them as his wife slowly turned to face him. It was pure instinctual self-preservation that made him stand when she stalked toward him. Standing practically chest to chest with the backs of his knees pressed against the edge of the massive bed, he actually felt a flicker of fear of this wild haired, ferocious creature. One delicate hand stretched up to between them, fingers splaying across his bare chest. A small smile played over her mouth before she shoved hard against him, sending him flying backward onto the bed. Before he could do more than huff as he landed and blink, she had clambered over him and settled herself on his hips, catching his lips in an angry kiss. He didn't bother trying to stop her from pushing her tongue into his mouth but he refused to respond, keeping his hands resolutely fisted at his sides. After a few moments she withdrew, giving a sharp bite at his lower lip before attacking his ear.

"Your insecurities about our relationship are usually endearing but you'd better pray that you're intelligent enough to never question me about this again. If you like, I will swear right now that you can marry me again in my next life, you greedy bastard. Sound good?" She growled, flexing her pelvis against his lightly. He groaned and moved finally to place both hands on her lower back. She chuckled and the air slipping along his skin made him buck against her unconsciously.

"Sounds good to me, too, love. Now, take off your pants so I can spend the rest of the night showing you how unwise it was for you to doubt me."

He did as he was told, of course. It really was his favorite form of fighting.


End file.
